True Crime on Monsters University Campus

More from Monsters University.

The Monsters University website (promoting the forthcoming film) is a really impressive affair and covers every aspect of university websites pretty convincingly from admissions to campus life and from institutional history to news and events.

Was also amused to note there is a Monsters University crime report:

Wednesday, 11:21pm

Students accused of “continually” lifting and transporting narcoleptic roommate to different areas of campus while asleep — and leaving him with only minimal amounts of clothing.

Thursday, 12:08am

Four female students report prank phone calls from an unknown male caller pretending to be a lost human.

Thursday, 12:59am

Report of stolen vintage typewriter from dorm room. Dispatch sent officer to investigate.
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Thursday, 1:43am

Three female students report being pelted by tossed fruit from roof of Chemistry Lab building.

Thursday, 3:14pm

Student accused of keeping unlicensed urn in room. Call initiated by agitated roommate. Upon investigation by Officer Barker, the student claimed it “contained the ashes my many, many good grades.” Barker forced to stop the “slapping melee” that ensued.

Thursday 9:28pm

“PEC” poster spotted in dorm-adjacent dumpster, alongside piles of empty checkbooks.

Thursday 11:10pm

One of the Pep Squad’s pom-poms reported missing. It was later discovered in the equipment room cozying up to a spare football.

Think the real world True Crime on Campus is probably better…

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