True Crime on Campus §26: Best of 2012

True Crime on Campus §26: Best of 2012 and vote for #1

It’s the time for some end of year reviews and 2012 has been another busy year for our hard working Security staff. Here are some of my true crime on campus favourites from the year together with an opportunity to vote for the report you think is the best.

0343 A student contacted the Security Control room for advice on how to treat a black eye. Security attended. The student stated that they had been struck in the eye by a flying chicken nugget while in McDonald’s in the City. Security checked the eye and gave advice.

2105 Report of a male lying on the ground near to the Lodges on Beeston Lane. Security attended on arrival the male was sitting up. He stated that he was a member of staff but had felt a bit “wonky” after attending a formal event at a Hall of Residence. Security took the male home as he was still unsteady on his feet.

22:15 Security were called to Hall as someone was in the bar with a bag of ten swords. The student claimed that they were used in traditional English dance and he brought them onto Campus to promote this. Security removed swords as they could be used as weapons. Warden informed. Security to follow up.

0045 Report of a male lying unconscious in a female toilet in the Hallward Library. University Security attended the Student was woken up and found to be very drunk. The Student thought the toilets were his room in his Hall of Residence. Security escorted the Student out of the Library where he was able to make his way back to his Hall.

0305 Report that a Conference Delegate had cut himself shaving and required First Aid. Security attended and provided First Aid. The Delegate did not require further medical attention.

1615 Patrol Security observed that a student’s window at Hall had a picture of a penis drawn on it with an obscene caption under it. The student was not in his room but a message was left for him to clean the window. The Warden is to be informed.

04:40 Security received a report from a concerned mother regarding her daughter; a student resident in Hall who was suffering from chest pains. Security had to wait for the student to return as she was in Tesco buying mints. On arrival the Security contacted the NHS Direct line and handed the phone over to the student to describe the symptoms. Security advised the student to call back if the symptoms got worse.


1358 Report that a male was filming cheerleaders who were on the Sports Centre Field getting ready to take photographs for a calendar. The cheerleaders were changing from one outfit to another and exposing themselves in the process. The male was in a vehicle in the Sports Centre car park with a hand held camcorder in one hand… Security attended and the male was detained. Police were called and arrested the male. The cheerleaders have been told that they should use the changing rooms if they wish to change. Security will be following up on this arrest with the Police.

02:30 Security at Sutton Bonington reported that there was a small group of sheep that were on the loose along the road near Future Crops. Other staff members assisted with rounding the sheep together.

2350 Patrol Security Officers discovered a very happy drunk in a wheelie bin at the rear of the Maths Building. The male was eventually found to be staying with his girlfriend in Derby Hall. The male was returned to his girlfriend who was relieved to see him safe and well apart from being very drunk.

0100 Report that damage had been done in a kitchen in Normanton House Sutton Bonington. The person concerned was dressed as a Tiger and after throwing food and smashing some plates left before they could be identified.

0755, 1323 A male contacted the Security Control room stating that he had discovered the meaning of life and urgently needed to speak to a Professor in Physics. After discussing the matter at length with Security the person’s details have been passed onto the Police to carry out a welfare check.

2010 Report of a large number of students running around the Trent Building. Security Officers attended. The students explained that they were playing hide and seek. The Hide and Seek Society President was found by Officers and spoken to. Officers conducted a search of the building and located all the other hiding students. I understand that Officers declined their turn to go and hide

A Security Officer who lives in a University rented house at Highfields Sports Centre arrived home on the 13.08.12 to find that a bungalow that is being built adjacent to the rented property had been damaged by the Air Ambulance helicopter hovering over it causing part of the newly built walls to collapse. Details to Estates. Contractor is following up with Notts/Lincs Ambulance.

Aren’t we supposed to be the good guys?

0048 Report of a person dressed in green, possibly a Ninja Turtle, in Portland Building attempting to gain entry to the Portland Cafe. Security attended. The cafe doors had been forced open but at present it is not clear if anything had been stolen. Security are to follow up.

So which is your favourite? I’ve got half a dozen special ones for you to vote on below for no real purpose. Or you could suggest your own.

Let’s hope for more of the same in 2013.

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2 thoughts on “True Crime on Campus §26: Best of 2012

  1. Pingback: By not very popular demand: it’s the top Registrarism posts of 2013 | Registrarism

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