True Crime on Campus §25: Cowabunga

More true crime on campus:

Things can get pretty tricky on campus sometimes. However, our outstanding Security staff are usually up for any kind of challenge – no matter how bizarre:

0030 Report of a person being let into Hall via Fire Escape door. Security attended and the area was searched – the person could not be located. Another male was located asleep in a corridor who was not a resident of the Hall – the male is a Student who lives off Campus. He was asked to make his way home.

1140 Report of leaflets having been strewn around the corridors of Willoughby Hall and Trent Building Quad.

14.08.12 A Security Officer who lives in a University rented house at Highfields Sports Centre arrived home on the 13.08.12 to find that a bungalow that is being built adjacent to the rented property had been damaged by the Air Ambulance helicopter hovering over it causing part of the newly built walls to collapse. Details to Estates. Contractor is following up with Notts/Lincs Ambulance.

A collapsed wall really not at all similar to the ones in question

1345 Report of two males placing bags with Penalty Charge Notice on them on vehicles parked on University Park. Inside the bags is an advertisement for a party in Watford. The bags are similar in colour to those used by Security Officers. These bags however have left marks on windscreens which is difficult to remove. Security are to follow up.

0210 Report of a Student having vomited due to excessive drinking. Security attended the Student was found to be in bed asleep.

0900 Report of a Dog in a vehicle parked in Trent East Car Park. Security Officers attended – the windows of the vehicle were down slightly and there was food and water for the dog in the vehicle. The owner was spoken to she decided to take the dog home.

0045 Report of a Student lying in Bushes adjacent to Hall Security attended.

13:33 Security received a phone call from a worried parent that two 12 year old girls had gone missing. Security Officers searched the area where they were last seen and found them outside of the DHL Building. Security notified the parent and then stayed with the girls until the parent arrived.

2030 Security took a Student to the QMC for treatment to his ankle. The Student had injured himself a week before but the pain had increased during the day. The Student is a resident of Florence Boot Hall the Hall Warden to be informed.

11:30 Security removed a publicity sign from the bottom of Portland Hill advertising the Fun Fair being held at Highfields Park. The sign was returned to the owners and they were advised that they cannot advertise on University property.

16:40 Security attended a request for a first aider on Jubilee Campus. A temporary member of staff had spilt a hot cup of coffee over her torso causing a burn. First Aid was administered and she declined any further assistance. Accident report sent to Safety Office.

0050 Security stopped a Student regarding a broken window. The Student admitted being part of a group that had broken the window. Warden to be informed – Long Eaton Glass called out.

1050 Report of a male dressed in pyjamas in Nottingham Medical School. Security attended and spoke to the male. The male stated that he was waiting for a Taxi. He then walked around the Building towards the Main Entrance. Hospital Security informed.

1205 Report of a blocked and flooded toilet in Pope Building. Security attended. On arrival Officers discovered a urinal had been blocked with paper. Officer cleared the paper and cleaned the floor returning the toilets to normal use.

Aren’t we supposed to be the good guys?

0048 Report of a person dressed in green, possibly a Ninja Turtle, in Portland Building attempting to gain entry to the Portland Cafe. Security attended. The cafe doors had been forced open but at present it is not clear if anything had been stolen. Security are to follow up.

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True Crime on Campus §24: Hide and Seek

More true crime on campus: bet you can’t find me

Bizarre things can happen on campus. Fortunately, our excellent Security staff are more than able to cope with just about anything. Even when it involves students hiding from them:

1230 Report of a Contractor working at a Hall had closed the boot of their own vehicle and struck themselves on the head causing a small cut to their head. Security attended – the Hall Manager is to complete the on line accident form.

2030 Report that a student had banged his head on a door frame in Hall. Security attended and checked the student. The student had a mark on his head. The Hall Staff completed an Accident form.

1849 Report of two students using a deodorant spray to set off the fire alarm in Hall. Both students were spoken to and told that they would be reported to the Hall Warden.

0300 Report of a student naked and trying to vomit in their shower in Ancaster Hall. The Hall Tutor requested that Security to help get the student out of the shower as he was cold and naked.

2020 Patrol Security Officers stopped a male who was kicking and moving cones in Trent Building Quad. The male was very abusive and would not stop swearing at Officers. The male who had no connection to the University identified himself as a serving solider. Given the level of abuse Security Management will be contacting the Army.

18:00 While shutting the windows in room A42 Sir Clive Granger building the blinds fell down in one of the windows. Help desk informed.

1930 Report that a Professor had contacted the QMC Security stating he thought he had left a portable heater on in his Office. QMC Security did not have access to the area University Security attended and also could not access the area. As QMC Security had not taken a contact number for the Professor there was no way to contact him. Security Officers monitored the area during the night and are to follow up today. The Office was within the Hospital and not part of the Medical School.

1000 Report of a student with an injury to their ankle. Security attended and took the student to Cripps Health Centre. The injury was caused according to the student by her stepping funny.

14:40 Security attended the Atrium on Jubilee Campus after receiving a report from a member of staff that several youths were causing a nuisance by running in and out of the building. The youths complied when asked to leave the Campus.

0415 Report of a male sleeping in a computer room in the Trent Building. Security attended. The male was a student who had fallen asleep while working. The student made his way home.

2010 Report of a large number of students running around the Trent Building. Security Officers attended. The students explained that they were playing hide and seek. The Hide and Seek Society President was found by Officers and spoken to. Officers conducted a search of the building and located all the other hiding students. I understand that Officers declined their turn to go and hide.

True Crime on Campus §23: the ultimate discovery

More true crime on campus:

Our Security staff discover the strangest things happening on campus. Fortunately, they are generally unflappable and respond pragmatically to every challenge. Even when presented with the ultimate answer:

16:34 Security received a report from a member of staff that a person unknown was looking at the lead on the roof of the DHL. Security to follow up.

23:35 Security discovered a conference delegate sleeping in his car on Jubilee Campus near the Business School North. Security advised he went to see the porter to get a room but he insisted he stayed in his car.


1645 Report that an unknown male had got himself wedged in the revolving door at the Portland Building. One of the glass panels in the door was over flexed causing it to shatter. Security attended but the male had left the area without waiting to be spoken to. Help Desk informed.

0910 Residents of the BASF House contacted Security as they were concerned about a BEKO Fridge that was in the house given the recent issues with some of these products. Security attended and checked the serial numbers and confirmed that the one in the house was not one that was of concern.

2100 Report of a male in a van looking in skips at the Halls of Residence. Security attended – the male was spoken to and told to leave Campus.

00:45 While on patrol Security noticed two males fishing on the far side of the Djanogly Learning Centre on Jubilee Campus. Security pointed out that there were signs stating ‘No Fishing’. They agreed to leave Campus and stated that did not keep any fish they had caught and put them back.

15:44 Security received a report from a member of the public that they could hear screaming from the new build along Beeston Lane by the Sports Centre. Security attended, checked the area and questioned the builders but nothing was found.

1625 Patrol Security stopped a student riding a motorcycle without a Helmet on Cut Through Lane. The rider was spoken to and told that he would be reported for the offence. The rider stated he forgot to put the helmet on.

0600 Patrol Security discovered two horses from the fields at the rear of the Vet School loose on Lancroft Lane. Security put the horses back into the fields. Security are to speak to the Vet School re this.

2310 Conference Delegates contacted Security from Sherwood Hall to say they were too hot. Delegates were advised to open their windows.

1330 Report of a suspicious package in Lenton and Wortley Hall. Security attended – the package was found to contain herbs to aid sleep.


0755, 1323 A male contacted the Security Control room stating that he had discovered the meaning of life and urgently needed to speak to a Professor in Physics. After discussing the matter at length with Security the person’s details have been passed onto the Police to carry out a welfare check.

True Crime on Campus §22: Surprise, surprise

More true crime on campus: some surprising occurrences 

Surprising things can happen on campus. Fortunately, it’s hard to catch our ever-vigilant Security team unawares…

07:15 Security received a report of a delivery driver stuck in the car park barriers at EMCC. Security attended and resolved the matter.

0500 Patrol Security spoke to an Ambulance crew outside Derby Hall. They had been called to a Student who had injured themselves while sleeping. Officers were not able to obtain further details as to the injury the Warden is to be informed.

02:30 Security at Sutton Bonington reported that there was a small group of sheep that were on the loose along the road near Future Crops. Other staff members assisted with rounding the sheep together.

1115 Report of a male sleeping in a corridor of Cripps Hall. Security attended and spoke to the male who was a guest of a student in the Hall. The guest was taken back to his friend’s room.

1515 Report that a student had cut his lip while rehearsing for a play in the Portland Building. Security attended and advised the Student to attended A+E. The Building Attendant is to complete an Accident form.

1735 Report of people conducting a survey allegedly for the City Council in Newark Hall Security attended and spoke to those carrying out the survey. They were asked to leave. A copy of the information from these people has been e-mailed to managers with an interest in this type of activity.

2350 Patrol Security Officers discovered a very happy drunk in a wheelie bin at the rear of the Maths Building. The male was eventually found to be staying with his girlfriend in Derby Hall. The male was returned to his girlfriend who was relieved to see him safe and well apart from being very drunk.

0450 Report of a group of students drinking beer and playing loud music in the Hallward Library. University Security attended and spoke to the students. They were asked to turn the music off and stop drinking beer. Library Staff to be informed.

1520 Report that a vehicle had rolled into two other vehicles in the Main Visitors car park. Security attended details of those involved were taken and exchanged. The driver of the vehicle whose vehicle caused the damage will be reported to the Head of Security for failing to apply the handbrake.

1420 Report of a person seen climbing through a window at Derby Hall. Security attended the person concerned was spoken to by Security. The person was identified as a student resident in the Hall who had forgotten his room key he has been given advice.

2100 Patrol Security discovered a male in a toilet in the Sir Colin Campbell Building. The male had no connection to the University and he was told to leave the Campus.

0100 Report that damage had been done in a kitchen in Normanton House Sutton Bonington. The person concerned was dressed as a Tiger and after throwing food and smashing some plates left before they could be identified.

True Crime on Campus §21: the naked truth

More true crime on campus

Strange things can happen on campus. Some of them involving people who seem reluctant to keep their clothes on. Fortunately, our indefatigable Security staff are more than capable of responding to all kinds of events:

23:05 Security attended a report of a male in Portland Building, carrying a rucksack and emptying cash machines. On investigation the male was a staff member of G4S and was repairing the machine.

1730 Report that a Student had been seen in the early hours exposing himself and then running around Ancaster Hall with a handful of paper on fire. Security are following up.


04:40 Security received a report from a concerned mother regarding her daughter; a student resident in Cavendish Hall who was suffering from chest pains. Security had to wait for the student to return as she was in Tesco buying mints. On arrival the Security contacted the NHS Direct line and handed the phone over to the student to describe the symptoms. Security advised the student to call back if the symptoms got worse.

00:10 Security attended a report of a student who had seen a bat at Ancaster Hall. On arrival Security could not identify a bat.

22:15 Security received a report of a group of female students running around with knives in Sherwood Hall. On arrival the building attendant identified the six female students. It was established that one of the female students had used a butter knife to remove several room numbers from inside the Hall. The Deputy Hall Warden was present and informed the group of students that disciplinary action would follow. Hall Warden informed.

22:35 The Hall Warden at Lenton and Wortley Hall informed Security that three students were running around in their underwear. Security made them aware that this was unacceptable. Security to follow up.

2100 Security Officers were requested to a disturbance in the Sir Clive Granger Building. On arrival two Student Societies were having a disagreement about a room booking. The Security Officers report has been forwarded to the Director of Student Operations and Support.

18:50 Security received a report of three nude males running through the lodges and down Beeston Lane towards West Entrance. A further report was received of three females in their underwear walking up Jubilee Avenue. On arrival Security stopped the three females and transported them back to Willoughby Hall, where the remaining three males were spotted at the back of the Hall. The porter identified all of the students and Security warned them of the stupidity of their actions. Details to Hall Warden. Security to follow up.

0415 Patrol Security Officers observed a torch being used in Woodland adjacent to Highfield Lake. Officers entered the wooded area and two males were seen to run from the area. Officers discovered that the males had been attempting to light a fire in the wood.


1358 Report that a male was filming cheerleaders who were on the Sports Centre Field getting ready to take photographs for a calendar. The cheerleaders were changing from one outfit to another and exposing themselves in the process. The male was in a vehicle in the Sports Centre car park with a hand held camcorder in one hand… Security attended and the male was detained. Police were called and arrested the male. The cheerleaders have been told that they should use the changing rooms if they wish to change. Security will be following up on this arrest with the Police.

True Crime on Campus §20: accidents will happen

More true crime on campus: accidents happen, sometimes intentionally

Accidents can happen on campus. Fortunately, our Security staff are more than capable of responding to all kinds of events. Even when some of them really aren’t accidental at all:

0250 Report of a broken window at Sherwood Hall. Security attended: the window had been broken by persons unknown throwing a traffic cone through the window. Long Eaton Glass called out.

0050 Patrol Security Officers observed an Ambulance parked on Cherry Tree Hill. The Ambulance crew were treating a student who was believed to have a broken arm which was sustained when he fell out of a tree on Cherry Tree Hill.

2300 Request from Swimming Pool Staff for an Ambulance as a swimmer had been hit by a canoe. Security and Ambulance attended.

0330 Patrol Security stopped three students who were carrying gas cylinders on Beeston Lane. The cylinders were taken from the students.

1337 Report that a member of Estates had observed a male carrying a pedal cycle on Science Road which was secured with a D Lock. The member of Estates stopped the male and questioned him. The cycle was taken from the male and handed over to Security Staff. The male walked off Campus without the cycle. The cycle has been returned to its owner, a student, with advice on how to secure a pedal cycle. The Police have been informed and Security Staff are reviewing the CCTV.

1100 Report from the Police that a student had been stabbed on Campus. Security met with the Police and following information provided by the Police entry to a student’s room in Hugh Stewart Hall was made. The student who had contacted the Police was in bed asleep. He was woken and spoken to by the Police and Security and the student stated that he had not been stabbed but had been drinking heavily the night before. Head of Security and the Hall Warden are to be informed. The Police left after speaking to the student.

0305 Report that a Conference Delegate had cut himself shaving and required First Aid. Security attended and provided First Aid. The Delegate did not require further medical attention.

1615 Patrol Security observed that a student’s window at Derby Hall had a picture of a penis drawn on it with an obscene caption under it. The student was not in his room but a message was left for him to clean the window. The Warden is to be informed.
 
0335 Report that a female student had banged her head on a tree while walking by the Lakeside. The student had suffered blurred vision and was complaining of a headache. Security Officers took the student to the QMC to be checked out.
 
21:30 Security were called to Cavendish Hall as a student had injured their foot. He had dropped a cup on his left foot and cut it. Wound cleaned and plaster applied by Security. Student was able to walk and he was advised to call Security if there were any other problems.
 
13:30 A returning student living in Ancaster Hall reported that belongings from his room had been moved, including his mattress and duvet. The student informed us that it could be a prank from other students in his Hall. Security to follow up.

1730 Report that a male had thrown a child into Highfield Lake – Security attended. On arrival a child was found with a cut to his leg and was also covered in nettle stings from being grabbed and thrown into the lake. The person responsible had left the area when Security arrived. The Police were informed. Further information is that the child had a large water gun and had sprayed it into a boat full of people. One of the people in the boat got off and threw the child into the Lake. The child was left with his parent.

True Crime on Campus §19: a bit “wonky”

More true crime on campus

It’s business as usual for our ever-vigilant and attentive Security Team:

1445 Report of a suspicious package outside the DLRC Security attended. The package belonged to a Student who was playing a prank on a friend of his. Security Officers have given the Student some advice.

2105 Report of a male lying on the ground near to the Lodges on Beeston Lane. Security attended on arrival the male was sitting up. He stated that he was a member of staff but had felt a bit “wonky” after attending a formal event at a Hall of Residence. Security took the male home as he was still unsteady on his feet.

16:30 Security received a report to call for a plumber to room A13 at the Clinical Science Building at the City Hospital due to a slow drip from a pipe. A bucket was placed underneath the leak. Helpdesk informed.

0045 Patrol Security observed a male attempting to enter Derby Hall via an open window. The person was stopped by Security Officers and identified as a student who lives in the Hall but had forgotten his room key.

20:45 Security were called to Triumph Road to investigate a missing barrier. It was reported that a group of people were using it to jump over. Security removed barrier and placed in the Dearing Building.

1910 Security were requested to provide two batteries for the door bell to Hugh Stewart House by the Hall Porter of Hugh Stewart Hall Security attended.

12:05 Security received a phone call from the Warden at a Hall as a cleaner had found four cannabis plants growing in pots in the shower. Lights and other items associated with growing cannabis were also found. All items removed, Security to follow up and Police informed.

12:30 Security were called to the Trent Building, lower ground floor near the Great Hall as a Student had reported a male in the female shower. On arrival Security witnessed one male and one female exiting the room together.

22:15 Security were called to Sherwood Hall as someone was in the bar with a bag of ten swords. The student claimed that they were used in traditional English dance and he brought them onto Campus to promote this. Security removed swords as they could be used as weapons. Warden informed. Security to follow up.

22:35 The Hall Warden at Lenton and Wortley Hall informed Security that three students were running around in their underwear. Security made them aware that this was unacceptable. Security to follow up.

0045 Report of a male lying unconscious in a female toilet in the Hallward Library. University Security attended the Student was woken up and found to be very drunk. The Student thought the toilets were his room in his Hall of Residence. Security escorted the Student out of the Library where he was able to make his way back to his Hall.

1330 Report that a 4 year old child had been found on the Boulevard adjacent to the Tennis Centre. Security attended and spoke to the child. The child was asked where their parents were the child pointed to the DHL Pavilion. Security took the child to the Pavilion where the mother was identified. The mother was eating a meal. She did not thank Security for removing the child from the side of the road or returning the child to her. She told the child not to do it again and continued eating her meal.

0500 Patrol Security spoke to an Ambulance crew outside Derby Hall. They had been called to a student who had injured themselves while sleeping. Officers were not able to obtain further details as to the injury. The Warden is to be informed.

0250 Patrol Security Officers observed two students riding pedal cycles on Beeston Lane without lights the pair were also weaving all over the roadway. Security Officers stopped the students both of whom were drunk and the cycles they were on did not belong to them. The cycles were taken from them and they were informed that they would be reported to the Head of Security.

Landmark Post – The Very Best of True Crime on Campus

For the 500th Registrarism Post: The Very Best of True Crime on Campus

Following the utterly objective poll to determine the topic for the landmark 500th Registrarism blog post I’ve used my own skill and judgement to select a range of the very best items from several years of True Crime on Campus. Just a reminder to latecomers though, these are real extracts from University of Nottingham Security reports. Whilst these are the amusing ones (to me at least) our excellent and extremely hard-working Security Team has to deal with a large number of difficult and challenging situations which really aren’t funny for anyone involved. It’s vital work, often unrecognised, and key to the effective functioning of the University and good campus life.

So, here it is, the Ultimate Collection or Now That’s What I Call True Crime on Campus:

21:10 It was reported that a group of Students had been seen in fancy dress complete with a baseball bat. Security located the Students in Ancaster Hall bar, Security approached the Student with the baseball bat and advised him it was not an ideal accessory for a night out. Student was told he could collect it in the morning from the Security Office. Student was apologetic and polite throughout.

12.05 Report of a person trapped in a lift in the Medical School. It appears that the lift was being worked on by engineers when a person entered the lift car without the engineers being aware. The Fire Service were called to release the person as he was keen to use the toilet.

0858 Report that a Student had collapsed at Lenton and Wortley Hall – Security attended. The Student was on her feet when Security arrived. The Student stated that she had cut her finger and fainted.

0610 Report of youths throwing stones and exposing themselves on Beeston Lane Security attended and stopped four males one of whom is a Student. Two of the group including the Student admitted to exposing themselves to motorists as they drove past them. A file will be submitted to the Head of Security.

1735 Security received a complaint of a couple in the male toilet adjacent to the Senate Chamber making a film. Security Officers attended and after banging on the door to the toilet a couple came out. They were spoken to by Security Officers they were given advice. The male was told to get dressed.

1753 Request from a resident of Abbey House to remove a large bee from under a sheet in their flat. Security attended and the bee was removed.

2315 Report of a drunken Student attempting to enter Lenton and Wortley Hall. Security attended. On arrival the Student was spoken to she was found to have been resident in the Hall last year and was so drunk she had forgotten that she lived in the City this year. A Taxi was arranged to take her to her new address.

22:39 Security Control received a call that there was an umbrella on fire in the Quad at Lenton Hall and the Porter was dealing with it. Security did not attend.

2045 Report of a student with a cut to his face in the Portland Building. Security Officers attended and gave First Aid. The student reported that he had been playing Hide and Seek as part of an event with the Hide and Soc Society when he had banged his face while hiding behind a chair. An accident form will be submitted.

0343 A student contacted the Security Control room for advice on how to treat a black eye. Security attended Ancaster Hall. The student stated that they had been struck in the eye by a flying chicken nugget while in McDonald’s in the City. Security checked the eye and gave advice.

1325 Report of an argument taking place at the Costa Cafe in the Portland Building. On arrival Security Officers were informed that a Customer was complaining that there were worms in a cake they had purchased. Security Officers and the Staff at the Cafe examined the cake and no worms were found. The Customer was provided with a replacement cake.

1450 Security were requested to Highfields Sports Ground where a football team were abusing the referee. Security attended and spoke to a team from Nottingham Trent University – they were told to calm down.

1255 Report of a person trapped in mud in the Lake adjacent to University Park. Security attended and after a search, a female was found stuck in the mud up to her waist. The Fire Service were called out they were able to extract the female from the mud. No explanation was given as to why she was in the mud.

1130 Patrol Security Officer at Jubilee Campus observed a vehicle parked causing an obstruction adjacent to Melton Hall. The Officer went up to the vehicle when he observed that the vehicle was occupied and that the occupants were having sex in the rear of the vehicle. The Officer alerted the occupants to his presence and, when they were dressed, he warned them about the parking and behaviour.

09:30 [note the time] Security asked a group of youths to leave Jubilee Campus as they were drinking brandy. Security removed the bottle and escorted them towards the gate where they were joined by more youths and they were all getting rowdy. Security called for assistance and youths soon left Campus.

1945 Officer observed a male acting suspiciously on Melton Lane adjacent to the new greenhouse development. Officer challenged the male who became abusive and aggressive. Security Officers were asked to attend. The male explained that he was a plane spotter and was using the dark on Melton Lane to get clear footage of the incoming planes.

21:45 It was reported that 25 drunk male students dressed as chickens were destroying the bar at Willoughby Hall. On arrival the Willoughby Hall tomb stone had been ripped up and lying in the middle of the road. The Students were outside and heading in the direction of Florence Boot Hall. On arrival the Students were refused entry, after some initial arguing they moved on in the direction of Cut Through Lane. They caused general disruption to the traffic flow stopping cars and the hopper bus. Due to the Students separating it was not possible to take names. They headed towards the Trent Building, Mooch bar were advised not to let them enter. The Students then headed towards the downs and not seen again.

2220 Security were called to Newark Hall to a Student who was unwell. On arrival, Security Officers found a male Student collapsed in the JCR toilets covered in vomit with a head injury and a broken wrist. It would appear that the student was in the act of vomiting when he fell forwards into the toilet bowl. An Ambulance was called and attended and the student was taken to the QMC. The Warden is to be informed.

14:53 Students observed on Golf Buggy driving around Campus. Students advised to remove vehicle from Campus. Security to follow up.

These guys seem familiar...

0845 Request for Security to attend an office in Trent Building. A member of staff had a pigeon in his office, which would not leave. Security attended and the pigeon was escorted from the building.

1015 Report of a male talking to a wall at the rear of the Biology Building. Security attended and spoke to the male. The male identified himself as a member of Staff – he stated that he was working through a Mathematical problem and would be returning to his office after his lunch.

0210 Report of a Tarantula Spider in a room in Southwell Hall. Security attended and were told the Spider had gone under the bed. After a careful search by Security Officers, a small house spider was captured and removed from Campus. The occupant of the room confirmed that the spider was the one they had seen.

1840 Report of a suspicious package in Nottingham Medical School – Security attended and after checking the package removed it from the building. On examination, the package was found to contain a tin of gravy granules.

23.50 Report of a suspicious vehicle parked at the rear of Cripps Hall with its engine running. Security attended and on approaching the vehicle a male and female emerged from the back seat in a state of undress. They apologized and after getting dressed left campus.

21.15 Report of a group of students with a pig’s head being offensive in a hall of residence. Security stopped the group and removed the head from them. The Warden is to be informed.

2325 Report that a picture had been taken off the wall at Hugh Stewart Hall by a Pirate. The Pirate had gone in the direction of the Mooch Bar. Security attended the Mooch where they found over 40 Pirates none of whom had the picture.

07:20 Whilst patrolling the campus Security Officers observed a man slashing at foliage with a golf club. Security spoke to the gentleman and asked him not to continue.

2358 A Student requested the room fridge be removed from his room, as it smelt. Security attended and the fridge was removed. The Student stated the reason it smelt was that he had spilled milk in it. The Student is to contact the Hall Staff.

0128 Patrol Security Officers observed a vehicle being driven dangerously in Newark Hall car park. Officers stopped the vehicle and spoke to the driver who is a Student. Officers also spoke to the owner of the vehicle who is also a Student. The reason given for the dangerous driving was “letting off exam stress” – both Students will be reported to the Head of Security.

1830 Report of a Robin in the Kitchens in Portland Building. Staff requested Pest Control – the Robin was encouraged to leave without the use of Pest Control Staff.

1450 Report of two naked males with an inflatable sex doll outside the Portland Building. Security attended, the area was checked but no one of that description was found.

Hope you enjoyed and I didn’t miss out any of your favourites. Here’s to the next 500 posts.

The votes are in

Few surprises here

The polls have closed and the votes have been counted, overseen by our utterly impartial scrutineers. In a result which will surprise absolutely no-one, it is now possible to confirm the topic of the 500th Registrarism post. The ballot paper looked like this (but please don’t try and vote again on it):

Another picture of a ballot box. Just to remind you

And the winner is….

True Crime on Campus!

So, no surprise whatsoever and a worthy winner with over half of the popular vote. Our highly trained editors have already started work on what we hope will be a bumper edition of this as yet not award-winning series.

True Crime on Campus §18: Black eye incident

True Crime on Campus §18

More extracts from real Security reports. The challenges never end for our hard working and extremely helpful Security staff:

0830 Patrol Security Staff discovered all of the items from a Kitchen in Derby Hall had been thrown out of a window and onto a grassed area. The items were damaged and disposed of. The Hall Manager has been informed.

1140 Report of a person acting suspiciously in the Student Shop Portland Building. Security attended – the person was spoken to. They identified themselves as a student – the reason they were acting in the manner they were was that they could not decide what to purchase.

1300 Report that a person had fallen over on a grassed area adjacent to DHL Pavilion Security attended. The person reported that they had pain in their elbow they were advised to seek medical attention.

1800 Report of a person putting flyers under the windscreen wipers of vehicles parked on Beeston Lane. Security attended, the area was checked, the male could not be located. The flyers are promoting an event at Rock City on the 29 January.

18:36 Security were called to Nottingham Medical School as the firm alarm had been activated. Fire Brigade attended, the detector could not be located. Fire Brigade requested that we reset the panel. At 22:05 Security discovered that the smoke had come from the Pantomime Party as they had been using fake smoke for their performance. Fire Safety Officer informed.

2259 Report of a person lying on the floor of Cripps Computing Centre. Security attended – the person was identified as a student who had been drinking heavily. The student was spoken to and taken to his term address.

0343 A student contacted the Security Control room for advice on how to treat a black eye. Security attended Ancaster Hall. The student stated that they had been struck in the eye by a flying chicken nugget while in McDonald’s in the City. Security checked the eye and gave advice.

0710 Report of the theft of a Mini Digger from the Building site of the new Chinese Studies Building at Jubilee Campus. Security attended Police informed.

0755 [note the time] Report of a male drunk on a pedal cycle on the Science Site. The male was spoken to by Security Officers but was too drunk to reply. Police were contacted. It was discovered that the male was staying in Cripps Hall with his friend. The male was returned to Cripps Hall.

0140 Security provided access to Rutland Hall for a student who had lost his room key, trousers, socks and shoes in a graveyard.

Never a dull moment on campus.

True Crime on Campus §17: Best of 2011

True Crime on Campus §17: Best of 2011 (and a poll)

2011 has been an extremely busy year for our hard working Security staff. As the following extracts from real security reports show, almost anything can happen on campus. These are some of my favourites from the past year (note there’s an exciting interactive bit at the end):

0200 Report of a cat in the Pope Building. Security attended and removed the cat.

0858 Report that a Student had collapsed at Lenton and Wortley Hall – Security attended. The Student was on her feet when Security arrived. The Student stated that she had cut her finger and fainted.

2315 Report of a drunken Student attempting to enter Lenton and Wortley Hall. Security attended. On arrival the Student was spoken to she was found to have been resident in the Hall last year and was so drunk she had forgotten that she lived in the City this year. A Taxi was arranged to take her to her new address.

1026 Report that the Table Tennis Table in Nightingale Hall had gone missing. Security are to follow up.

1540 Further to the report of the Table Tennis Table going missing from Nightingale Hall, Security have been able to trace it to a Student’s room within Nightingale Hall. The Warden has been informed.

22:15 Security were called to Rutland Hall as five males, one of whom did not have any clothes on, were making a noise in a hall and one urinating in the Quad. They were all third and fourth year students and had no reason to be there. The naked student had left the area when Security attended. Warden to be informed.

2350 Patrol Security spoke to two males outside the Mooch Bar for urinating into a bin. They were identified an told that they would be reported for urinating on a public place.

1937 Report of a naked male in the Nottingham Medical School. Security attended – the male could not be found. Cleaning Staff reported that the male was naked in the open area of the male toilets. Security are to follow up.

2200 Report of males acting suspiciously in the area of Derby / Lincoln Halls. Security attended and the area was checked. The only person found was a Student urinating up the side of a Block at Lincoln Hall. The Warden is to be informed.

1325 Report of an argument taking place at the Costa Cafe in the Portland Building. On arrival Security Officers were informed that a Customer was complaining that there were worms in a cake they had purchased. Security Officers and the Staff at the Cafe examined the cake and no worms were found. The Customer was provided with a replacement cake.

1735 Security received a complaint of a couple in the male toilet adjacent to the Senate Chamber making a film. Security Officers attended and after banging on the door to the toilet a couple came out. They were spoken to by Security Officers they were given advice. The male was told to get dressed.

14:20 Routine Security patrol found that windows on LG at Trent had all of the putty removed. Security secured the rooms. Help desk notified.

2040 Report of a white van acting suspiciously at Lenton and Wortley Hall Security attended the area was checked the vehicle was not found.

It is important to note that both of the following reports have been strongly denied by members of the societies concerned:

This will make it to the Olympics one day

2230 Report of noise coming from the Quidditch Match being played at the rear of Lincoln Hall. Security attended and spoke to the players.

2045 Report of a student with a cut to his face in the Portland Building. Security Officers attended and gave First Aid. The student reported that he had been playing Hide and Seek as part of an event with the Hide and Soc Society when he had banged his face while hiding behind a chair. An accident form will be submitted.

Strange things tend to happen when fancy dress is involved:

22:30 Security were informed that a group of students dressed as tigers were threatened by a male in a blue car. The students had shaken a stuffed whale at the car, the car stopped and the driver got out of the vehicle and walked towards his boot to get something out. The passenger had stopped him and then they drove off. Security made a search of the campus but car was not found.

21:10 It was reported that a group of Students had been seen in fancy dress complete with a baseball bat. Security located the Students in Ancaster Hall bar, Security approached the Student with the baseball bat and advised him it was not an ideal accessory for a night out. Student was told he could collect it in the morning from the Security Office. Student was apologetic and polite throughout.


21:45 It was reported that 25 drunk male students dressed as chickens were destroying the bar at Willoughby Hall. On arrival the Willoughby Hall tomb stone had been ripped up and lying in the middle of the road. The Students were outside and heading in the direction of Florence Boot Hall. On arrival the Students were refused entry, after some initial arguing they moved on in the direction of Cut Through Lane. They caused general disruption to the traffic flow stopping cars and the hopper bus. Due to the Students separating it was not possible to take names. They headed towards the Trent Building, Mooch bar were advised not to let them enter. The Students then headed towards the downs and not seen again.

And these, you just couldn’t predict:

09:30 [note the time] Security asked a group of youths to leave Jubilee Campus as they were drinking brandy. Security removed the bottle and escorted them towards the gate where they were joined by more youths and they were all getting rowdy. Security called for assistance and youths soon left Campus.

0610 Report of youths throwing stones and exposing themselves on Beeston Lane Security attended and stopped four males one of whom is a Student. Two of the group including the Student admitted to exposing themselves to motorists as they drove past them. A file will be submitted to the Head of Security.

1130 Patrol Security Officer at Jubilee Campus observed a vehicle parked causing an obstruction adjacent to Melton Hall. The Officer went up to the vehicle when he observed that the vehicle was occupied and that the occupants were having sex in the rear of the vehicle. The Officer alerted the occupants to his presence and, when they were dressed, he warned them about the parking and behaviour.

15:45 Security received a report regarding the parking at Cripps Hall. On investigation Security found cars parked on the grass and a group of Students having a party with a swimming pool and water slide. After talking to the group they said they had got permission from the hall porter to do this. The hall porter was contacted and permission was not given. Students removed the pool and slide.

2340 Security were called to Nightingale Hall where a visitor had arrived to see her friend who was supposed to be a student at this University. Security attended and after speaking the visitor and checks made on our Student database plus further checks with Trent University it was found that the visitor was at the wrong University. The visitor had also lost her all of her belongings on the train to Nottingham and had no way of getting to her friend’s accommodation. The Security Supervisor took her in a Security vehicle.

So which is your favourite? I’ve got five special ones for you to vote on below (never done a poll before so hoping it works). Or you could suggest your own.

Let’s hope for more of the same in 2012.

True Crime on Campus §16: A series of unfortunate events

More true crime on campus: where stuff happens

Unfortunate things can happen on campus. Fortunately, our unflappable Security staff are more than capable of responding to all kinds of events:

1215 Report that a pedal cyclist had fallen from his cycle outside the Pharmacy Building. Security attended. The student had been attempting to jump his cycle over the kerb when he fell off. The student suffered cuts and bruises and was taken to Hospital to be checked.

2315 Report of a student trapped in his room in Kingston House Sutton Bonington. Security attended and released the student who was advised to contact Opal staff for a permanent repair to be made.

1258 Report that a cyclist had ridden into the exit barrier of South Entrance. The barrier was broken off as the cyclist rode through and fell off his cycle. The cause of the collision was due to the cyclist not slowing down and allowing the barrier time to rise up and out of the way.

2340 Security were called to Nightingale Hall where a visitor had arrived to see her friend who was supposed to be a student at this University. Security attended and after speaking the visitor and checks made on our Student database plus further checks with Trent University it was found that the visitor was at the wrong University. The visitor had also lost her all of her belongings on the train to Nottingham and had no way of getting to her friend’s accommodation. The Security Supervisor took her in a Security vehicle.

19:32 Security were informed by Willoughby Hall Deputy Warden that a student required first aid as they had run into a fire door on D Floor at Willoughby Hall. Student went to hospital in a taxi with a friend. There was damage to the glass panel, Long Eaton Glass called out.

 

2245 Report of the lift not working Willoughby Hall. Security attended. Morris Vermaport called out. Due to there being 10 people stuck in the lift the Fire Service were requested to attend and they removed the occupants from the lift.

1000 Report that a window had fallen out of its frame in Hugh Stewart Hall Security attended contractor called out.

1030 Report of the lift not working with a person trapped in Portland Building. The Building Attendant and Security Officers attended. The button was pushed which started the lift working and released the person.

11:50 Security attended a report from 5 students that their belongings, which had been put under a bush whilst they played football on Florence Boot Field, had been stolen. Police informed and Security to follow up.

14:45 Security Control received a telephone call from a concerned relative that a student was stuck in a toilet in the Trent Building. A search was conducted but nobody was found. At 17:48 Trent received a telephone call from Ancaster Hall that the student had been found and the relatives have been informed.

17:15 Security attended a request to remove a padlock from a cycle as the student had lost her key.

22:39 Security Control received a call that there was an umbrella on fire in the Quad at Lenton Hall and the Porter was dealing with it. Security did not attend.

02:00 Security attended a report of broken glass in a door at Cavendish Hall caused by a student who was play fighting with a third party. Long Eaton Glass called out and details to Hall Warden.

True Crime on Campus §15: Freshen up!


For the new arrivals

The start of the new session and the arrival of thousands of eager freshers brings with it additional challenges for our ever-responsive and capable Security Team. All of the following are freshly reported incidents from the first week or so of the new academic year here at Nottingham. Let’s hope things calm down a little.

0858 Report that a Student had collapsed at Lenton and Wortley Hall – Security attended. The Student was on her feet when Security arrived. The Student stated that she had cut her finger and fainted.

0615 Report that a duvet was taken from a Students room while the Student was asleep in Cripps Hall. Security attended – the duvet was found on the Grass outside the Hall. The Student was advised not to sleep with his room door unlocked.

2105 Report of Graffiti on a Pool Table in Cripps Hall. Security attended, Hall Management to be informed.

2305 Report of people Camping on the Sports Field adjacent to the NCSL. Security attended – the area was checked no one was found.

2315 Report of a drunken Student attempting to enter Lenton and Wortley Hall. Security attended. On arrival the Student was spoken to she was found to have been resident in the Hall last year and was so drunk she had forgotten that she lived in the City this year. A Taxi was arranged to take her to her new address.

0845 Patrol Security found a male drunk and lying in the road at the top of Keighton Hill. Officers requested an Ambulance which took the male to the QMC. The male has no connection to the University.

0215 A Student living in Raleigh Park contacted the University Security Control room to say that she was trapped in the lift at Raleigh Park. University Security Staff were able to contact the call out Staff for Raleigh Park and get them to the Student. The Student was informed that help was on the way.

1030 Report of the theft of Lead from Sherwood Hall. Security attended, Police informed.

1000 Report of a Student feeling unwell in Rutland Hall. The Student stated that he had been drunk the night before and jumped off a wall and bruised his feet which were hurting. The Student was advised to attend A+E.

0200 Report of a Student feeling unwell in Lenton and Wortley Hall. Security attended – NHS Direct were contacted who had advised no more alcohol and to drink plenty of water.

And the slightly more mundane but inescapable start of term incidents:

0830 Report of a blocked toilet – Estates Staff attended – Lanes for Drains called out.
1045 Report of a leaking sick [sic] Rutland Hall – Estates Staff attended.
1120 Report of a door not closing Lincoln Hall – Estates Staff attended.
1405 Report of a light not working Nightingale Hall – Estates Staff attended.

0030 Security provided access to Willoughby Hall for three Students who had lost their room key.
0040 Security provided access to Cavendish Hall for a Student who had lost their room key.
0130 Security provided access to Cavendish Hall for a Student who had lost their room key.
0130 Security provided access to Southwell Hall for a Student who had lost their room key.
0245 Security provided access to Cavendish Hall for a Student who was locked out of their room.
0250 Security provided access to Cavendish Hall for a Student who had lost their room key.
0300 Security provided access to Lincoln Hall for a Student who had lost their room key.
0300 Security provided access to Rutland Hall for a Student who had lost their room key.

Animal magic: True crime on campus §14

More true crime on campus

Not all of the challenges faced by our ever-vigilant Security team are down to people. Some involve animals of one kind or another (albeit sometimes with human involvement):

2020 Report of a bird in the Graduate School. Security attended but the bird could not be found.

1800 Report of dogs running loose at the rear of Abbey House. Security attended.

1330 Patrol Security Officer stopped a couple who were walking through Jubilee Campus with a Bull Terrier dog off its lead. The Officers asked them to put the dog on a lead which they complied with.

22:30 Security were informed that a group of students dressed as tigers were threatened by a male in a blue car. The students had shaken a stuffed whale at the car, the car stopped and the driver got out of the vehicle and walked towards his boot to get something out. The passenger had stopped him and then they drove off. Security made a search of the campus but car was not found.

20110826-083144.jpg

1626 Report of 10 people dressed as chickens walking along Beeston Lane throwing water bombs. Security attended on arrival the Chickens had left the area.[Note, this is not the first time Security have had to deal with giant chickens, see True Crime §12]

1753 Request from a resident of Abbey House to remove a large bee from under a sheet in their flat. Security attended and the bee was removed.

1400 Report of a group of males hare coursing on University Land adjacent to the Sutton Bonington Campus. Security attended, Police informed.

2000 Report of a dog running loose around Abbey house. Security attended – the owners of the dog were asked to put the animal on a lead.

13:00 Security called to room A05 Plant Science, Sutton Bonington Campus. A pigeon was trapped in the office, it had caused a lot of mess. The pigeon was released and Quality First called out to clean up.

1415 Report of two males hunting with a falcon on University Farm Land, Sutton Bonington Campus. Security attended and the males were told to leave University property.

0200 Report of a cat in the Pope Building. Security attended and removed the cat.

Youth club: True crime on campus §13

More true crime on campus

In addition to dealing with the challenges presented by staff, students and visitors to campus, our indefatigable Security team also has to cope with the inappropriate activities of various groups of youths:

1920 Patrol Security Officer stopped a group of youths swimming in the Lake at Jubilee Campus. The youths were told to leave Campus.

1925 Patrol Security Officers spoke to a large group of youths on skateboards at the Jubilee Campus. They were told to leave Campus.

17:40 Security asked youths to leave Campus. A second group of youths nearby had also been reported to be throwing stones at ducks and fish in the lake, youths asked to leave Campus.

2120 Patrol Security stopped a group of youths on Jubilee Campus using skateboards. The youths were told to leave Campus.

2340 Patrol Security Officers at Jubilee Campus stopped a group of youths who were making a noise – they were told to leave Campus.

09:30 [note the time] Security asked a group of youths to leave Jubilee Campus as they were drinking brandy. Security removed the bottle and escorted them towards the gate where they were joined by more youths and they were all getting rowdy. Security called for assistance and youths soon left Campus.

13:59 Staff member witnessed BMX riders on Jubilee Campus near the Exchange building. Security attended, the youths escorted off Campus.

1501 Report of youths causing a nuisance at Jubilee Campus. Security attended – the youths left Campus as Security arrived.

1615 Report of youths in the water at the Millennium garden – Security attended.

2030 Report of youths letting off Rockets in Bramcote Woods – Security attended. On arrival it was discovered that the Scouts had an event taking place and were letting off Rockets. They were asked to let the University know if they were planning an event such as this again.

1330 Report of youths drinking with dogs in the UNSSC Garden. The dogs were loose and running around. Security attended and on arrival the youths were told to put the dogs on leads and leave the Campus.

0610 Report of youths throwing stones and exposing themselves on Beeston Lane Security attended and stopped four males one of whom is a Student. Two of the group including the Student admitted to exposing themselves to motorists as they drove past them. A file will be submitted to the Head of Security.

2100 Report of 30 children with tents in Bramcote Woods. Security attended – no children or tents were found.